Gotta Love the Honesty

Wednesday 5 September 2012 - Filed under Uncategorized

Too bad said honesty comes from The Onion rather than the politicians.

Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for being here with us. I speak to you tonight as a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and, of course, a proud American.

But most of all, I’m happy to stand before you as a meticulously calculated communication tool whose every action, from the color of my dress down to each wave of my hand, has been premeditated and painstakingly devised by a set of experienced political handlers working to re-elect my husband this November.

Honestly, I’m thrilled to see all of you here tonight, knowing that my presence has been consciously engineered to soften my husband’s image and give his poll numbers a quick boost. There is really no greater pleasure in the world than getting up on this stage and talking to millions of Americans not only as a first lady, but also as a cynical ploy to add warmth, humanity, and relatability to an otherwise cold, detached three-day display of political gamesmanship.

Anyone who was actually inspired by Michelle Obama’s speech must also have been inspired by their junior high principal.

2012-09-05  »  madlibertarianguy