Douche Extrordinaire Building One Hell of a Strawman

Tuesday 29 June 2010 - Filed under Dumbassery + Journalism + Libertarian Party

Douchie McDoucherson (AKA Mitchell Bard of The Huffingtion Post) constructing strawmen of epic proportions:

I was tailgating with my wife and two friends in the parking lot of Miller Park before a Brewers game yesterday, when a guy with a pasted-on, plastic, local-news-anchor smile approached our group. He wanted us to sign a petition to get his “buddy” on the ballot for state treasurer. Of course, the first question I asked him was which party his “buddy” belonged to, and the guy told us he was a Libertarian.

Poor guy, he didn’t realize he was approaching a liberal blogger and his progressive friends. Not an audience that was going to easily buy what he had to sell.

My translation:

Some guy for whom I have absolutely no respect as a human being came up and tried to pitch me a political candidate for whom I have no interest and am hesitant to assign him the status of “human.”  What a douchebag.  Because I’m an unabashed party hack, and clearly care more about artificial political affiliations drawn via strict party lines than any potential ideological considerations, I thought asking “what party” the absolute most critical question.  Then I found out he was a believer in Satan, overlord of the world, king of the free market.

Fucking cocksucker, he didn’t realize that I’m Douchie McDoucherson: Liberal Blogger and His state worshiping automatons. At that point it made absolutely no fucking difference what he said because we’re progressive, and that means that we’re always right and can safely shut out any outside opinion which challenges Our omniscience.

2010-06-29  »  madlibertarianguy