Because some of you won’t be familiar with some of the terms I’ll be using in my day to day writing, I’m coming up with a running tabulation, or wordhoard if you happen to be fluent in reading Old English, which will be updated as needed. If I need to add anything, please feel free to let me know. Though various political markers and symbols have been conflated in American usage and mashed up all to shit so that no one has any clue what one might be talking about when particular terms are used (read: most people paint with a very wide brush and create an undiscernable picture), it seems appropriate to once again start delineating shit appropriately. Nuance rules in the land of thinking men (sorry ladies, you’ve come to the wrong place if you expect either blatant PCness, or typographical abominations such as “s/he”). We won’t have no simple conflation ’round here. Or something.
- Conservatard - The brand of Republican who has a moral stick with which he likes to beat others for no other benefit than For The Children™. Though they espouse the many benefits of small government, as a rule conservatards only preach said benefits when Demotards or Libertards control policy in Washington. When conservatards control lawmaking, as in 2001-2009, Big Government runs amok (as per The Patriot Act, 2 Asian Wars, the War on Drugs, anti gay marriage constitutional amendments, et al) and conservatards are generally quiet with little or no protest unless in support of their own idea of “good government.” In short, conservatards are Big Government folk too, they have just learned to lie to their constituencies better about it. Figures who might fall in to this category: Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Anne Coulter, William Bennet, George W Bush, Dick Cheney.
- Demotard – The set of unconscionable douchebags who actually like Big Government and feel simply that the little people are too stupid to make decisions for themselves. For this set of people, there is nothing that an individual can do which can’t be done better by government. No decision can be made without governement approval, taxation and regulation to ensure that a great idea is implemented in the shittiest way possible. Demotards have a funny idea of what “rights” are (as in they have no fucking clue unless to yell about a Conservatard trying to take one – or more – of our rights away). They also feel as if money which has been rightfully earned (or inherited) should be taken away from those who earned it and given to others out of “fairness.” Figures who might fall in to this category: Bill Clinton, Billary, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi.
- Deregulated – When those in power take current economic/social regulations, add more regulations to them and call said economic environment deregulated. A land free of government regulation existent only in the imaginations of Demotards, Libertards and Conservatards. See pre-recession Wall Street.
- Deregulation – The act of “Deregulating.” Or, the act of adding more regulations on top of current regulations and calling the economic/social environment deregulated.
- Fucktard – Generally a combination of of any mixture of other -tards. Though it may also be reserved for one particular -tard or group of -tards who are especially douchie. Example: Man; Chris Matthews and Rush Limbaugh are fucktards.
- Libertard – All those who favor democratic party policy because they favor the personal liberties offered by Demotard policy, such as ending prohibition, right to die, et al. While this group generally has a good sense about personal freedoms, they tend to frame them in a “tax and regulate” sort of way which greatly diminishes the benefits for having said freedoms. In short, Libertards prefer government to be run like a protection racket where one might have freedoms, but must pay up in order to enjoy said freedoms. “Sure, you can smoke pot. But not unless you pay an inordinate amount of tax money on said pot and only buy pot which has been through our very tedious – and expensive – regulation process of bureaucratic hoops which drives up the price and limits the number of choices in the market. Failure to do so will be met with the harshest of penalties.”
- Libertopia – That fictional land where all is governed by libertarians and libertarian principles.
- Republican – One of the few affiliated with the Republican party who actually does subscribe to the general Republican values of small(ish) government and low(ish) taxes. Though opposed to many social freedoms like drug legalization or prostitution, many republicans see the policing and governing of these activities unecessary or fiscally futile. Their moral stick, though certainly available, doesn’t pack as much a punch as those of Conservatards.
- Republinut – See Conservatard.
- Republitard – See Conservatard.
2010-05-09 :: madlibertarianguy